Mary Tarasova
Cinematic Photographer

Sandeep Kulkarni (00:02.67) Today's guest is Mary Tarsova, a photographer whose work has been shaped by migration, observation, and the emotional truth a single image can hold.

Suraaj Parab (00:13.571) Welcome Mary to the artist conversation. Hello.

Mary (00:15.075) Hi guys. Hi guys. Hi everybody.

Sandeep Kulkarni (00:16.856) Hello. It's so nice to have you, Mary. We previously had one photographer on the show, and it was so nice to talk to him—he was from France—and now we have you. We tend to get a lot of different artists on the show. Although Suraaj and I are both musicians, Suraaj has had a lot of exposure to photography, so it's really nice to have you.

Mary (00:22.521) Thank you guys.

Sandeep Kulkarni (00:43.51) I'm going to just jump right in, talking about your origin and finding the medium of photography. You've said that photography became your language when words weren't enough. When did you first realize the camera could express something you couldn't say any other way?

Mary (01:02.095) I think it started back when I was at school, actually. My mom used to use these cheap film cameras. I would ask her, "Can I just snap a couple of pictures in my village?" She was always like, "No, the film is very, very expensive. Please be mindful. You only have three photos that you can take." Because of that, I had to think before I actually clicked the button to capture a picture.

I started noticing that before I take a picture, I first think about what I want to tell the world with it. It's not just a picture without any meaning; there is supposed to be a meaning that makes the person who sees it feel something. Even when I do client photoshoots, I mostly work in a candid style of photography. My absolute passion is children's portraits because they are so natural on camera. They will never give you fake emotions; they just live, and I capture them living and showing their true emotions. It's beautiful how I can capture that moment.

A couple of years later, they can look at the picture and say, "I remember how I felt at this moment." Or, if I look at the pictures I took in my village now, I say, "Yes, I remember what was happening there, what I felt as a photographer, and what the idea was." It's perfect. How did they do that? It's just like that, I would say.

There is a very good phrase in Russia: "It is better to see something once than to hear somebody talking about it." Sometimes when you look at a picture, you don't need to actually understand what you feel—you just have to feel it. I don't know if I described the idea correctly, but everybody understands a picture differently.

It's just like when you go to an art gallery and see a painting. There might be 10 people looking at the same painting, but they all have different ideas coming to their minds about what the art is about. I went to the Dalí Museum months ago, and that was actually what happened there. There was a volunteer asking people, "What do you see in this picture? What emotions are rising in your soul?" There were 10 people standing there, and they all shared completely different emotions. He said, "This is exactly what this painting is about. You're all right. You all feel it how you're supposed to feel that art. That's what art is about." So, yeah.

Sandeep Kulkarni (04:16.366) Right, everyone can have their own interpretation of how they feel about it. I'm glad you said that, because it's not only restricted to photography, but any form of art. It could be a musical piece, or it could be something someone has done on the computer. For any form of art, everyone can interpret it in a different way. That's so true.

Mary (04:42.895) Yeah, that's why sometimes when you listen to a song, the artist behind it might say, "At this period of time, I was in a bad period of my life." So many people will say, "Yes, and this exact song actually helped me get through those dark times and inspired me because I felt like I was on the same vibe." Other people might say, "No, we don't understand how this song can be about dark times—it's just a happy song." But that's the beauty in art. That's what I love.

Suraaj Parab (05:22.853) Amazing. Moving from Russia to the United States in 2014 sounds like it became a defining turning point for your life as an artist. How did that transition change the way you see the world?

Mary (05:41.583) I wouldn't say that it was the start of my art path. I actually started in photography in 2011. During the first few years, I was just doing some side gigs, learning about photography, practicing all the time, meeting with other artists and photographers, going to art galleries, and being in a community of artists. That is what actually shaped me as a photographer during those first two years. It's still changing a little bit, especially right now in the AI era. With what's going on with AI art, the world is changing, and people in the artist community are really pushing back against it.

When I moved here, I didn't really see a big difference in people because we are all the same. We all have the same struggles and happy things that happen in our lives, and we all want to capture those moments. Even the streets and the cities are all the same. I wouldn't say that moving here changed me a lot as an artist. I just loved seeing the similarities between people. Russians and Americans are geographically very far away from each other, but when you actually become friends with someone and they share what is in their soul, you understand that we are all the same. Our stories might not be identical, but the ideas behind our struggles, how we try to find our path in life, the meaning of life, and love stories—everything is just the same.

I love capturing this stuff no matter where I am. Maybe I'll move to a different country in the future, or maybe I'll stay here and visit new places, but it's still the same thing that I capture: real life and real emotions. That is the main idea behind my art. I just want to keep it real. No sugar-coating.

Sandeep Kulkarni (08:15.438) That's really cool. Your work feels rooted in quiet moments and emotional honesty. What draws you to those subtle, unguarded frames?

Mary (08:41.679) I think it comes from me being a very sensitive person. Sometimes when we go outside and see people, I can immediately read if they're in a bad mood or a good mood. Most people don't really notice those things, sometimes not even in their friends. They might wonder, "Everything was fine, so why did you do what you did? What was behind it?" They just don't notice in the eyes of people around them that someone might need help or need somebody to talk to. It's something that I really feel.

Even our cities and towns have souls. I love seeing changes—what changed, or maybe a building that was beautiful 10 years ago but now nobody is taking care of it. It's completely destroying because of time, and nobody cares about it. I love taking pictures to show that there is still beauty in this building, even though it's half-destroyed. There is nothing that can stop you from seeing the beauty in all the things around you.

I guess that's my weird way of capturing street photography. Sometimes I see very little things that my friends didn't even notice at first. I'll point to the picture and say, "Yes, this is what I wanted to show you guys," and they'll say, "Okay, yeah, you're weird." That's what they say.

Suraaj Parab (10:54.447) Really interesting. Before moving ahead, I want to share my screen so I can share some of your pictures with our guests. What beautiful pictures you have clicked. Okay, I'm on your Instagram account.

Mary (11:12.175) Yeah, and these are actually pictures from my favorite place in Washington State: Lake Quinault Lodge. It's a lodge for maybe 100 guests or even less, and it doesn't have phone service there. It's a very beautiful place because you enter this lodge and you see a big fireplace, a couple of couches, and so many other places around the lobby where you can just hang out, talk to people, and look them in the eyes instead of just sitting on your phone and scrolling all the time. They have books and games that you can play with other guests, and they have a beautiful territory there. They have a boat that you can rent, and you can swim, paddleboard, or kayak.

You can actually swim in this lake, but it's just too cold for me now that I live in Mount Dora, Florida. I only swim in the ocean in July and August now; it's too cold for me right now in April. I see people swimming and I'm like, "Oh, they're probably tourists." There is no way you're going to see me in the ocean right now, but I was that tourist when I moved here six years ago. I was swimming in the ocean in April.

Sandeep Kulkarni (12:31.822) I was going to say, you came from Russia—weren't you used to the cold?

Mary (12:37.359) I've had enough cold in my life, so I'm good. I'm good in Florida. I'm like an iguana right now. If it's below 70, I need a warm jacket and my pumpkin spice latte.

Sandeep Kulkarni (12:48.718) Me too. I lived in Cincinnati when I first came to the US, and then I lived in Denver, Colorado. I've had my round of snow and cold. Once I moved to California, especially Southern California—San Francisco still gets cold—it’s beautiful over here. If it ever goes down to 50 or 55 degrees, I'm like, "Okay, let me get that jacket out." You'll see everyone wear a jacket. It's funny.

Mary (13:16.929) Yes, exactly. You can spot tourists immediately if they're only wearing T-shirts and shorts. This other picture is the Hoh Rain Forest, which is a very popular place in the Pacific Northwest. Washington is the Evergreen State, and this moss basically lives on the trees in symbiosis. They have lived like that for thousands of years. It's beautiful to see how it grows and how the light highlights some of the moss. I just love this picture, honestly.

Sandeep Kulkarni (14:06.358) See, this is one of those pictures that we were talking about earlier. A person can look at this without you telling them anything, and they can interpret it in so many different ways. It's lovely to hear what people are thinking. I say that because when I was in Cincinnati, I did an MFA—a Master of Fine Arts. I had a lot of different majors in my classes: photography majors, painting majors, drawing majors. I was in electronic media. We would have classes together where people would show work. With the photography students, their job was not to tell you anything; you just had to look. We used to write critiques about people's work and submit them, and the professor would ask, "Why did you say you thought this when you saw this art installation?" It could be anything. It reminded me of that. It's beautiful.

Mary (15:10.799) Yeah. This other picture is at the lodge because it's on an Indian reservation, and they have this totem pole that shows rain levels. I was always wondering if the rain level ever reached the second floor at least once in their lifetime. That's why I snapped this picture for the future. I hope it doesn't happen because this lodge is beautiful and I want to stay there forever; I want to bring my grandkids there.

This next one was actually another favorite place in the Pacific Northwest: Ruby Beach on the Pacific Ocean. I love to capture the connection between the rocks and the trees. If you zoom in, you will see all of these trees that were in the water and got shaped by the ocean, creating giant logs and stumps over there. I looked at that and thought, "Yes, that's a picture." And again, there's the moss. I'm a big fan of moss, as you can tell.

Suraaj Parab (16:43.525) Wow, this is nice.

Mary (16:46.435) And this is one of the fishing boats at the lake next to the lodge. I just wanted to snap as many pictures as I could because when I look at a picture, I can immediately feel the emotions that I was living through at that time. I felt a huge sense of peace inside of me when I was there, and I wanted to preserve this moment.

Sometimes, if I am really enjoying a moment, I close my eyes and try to do a mindfulness exercise. I try to remember the smell and the sounds around me. I can tell you one story that is still super detailed in my head. When I went back to Russia the last time, it was in 2019, and I haven't been back since. I remember standing in the kitchen of the house where I was raised in my village. I was frying potatoes in a pan, and my kids were around—they were really little, my daughter was almost two and my son was four. They were giggling and playing together, and their great-grandmother was tickling them. My mom and my brother were there, too. I could hear their voices and feel the movement, and I knew I really wanted to save this moment in my heart.

I started noticing all these little things. I looked out the window and tried to remember how the tree looked, what flowers were blooming in the garden, and whether the sky was rainy or sunny. I remembered it in very small details. Right now, if I am in a dark place and need to feel the support of my roots—because even though I live in the States, I am Russian—I close my eyes. My kids are more Russian-American because they were born here and this culture will be their main culture, whereas Russian is my main culture. Sometimes you just need that feeling that you come from a very big place and have a large family and ancestors standing behind you, supporting you, rooting for you, and knowing you can do anything. I close my eyes and remember that moment. It gives me a sense of support, especially before I do something big. I don't even need to make a decision; I just go back to that moment, close my eyes, and understand that no matter what happens, I have them. They are rooting for me and they are going to help me, no matter what.

Suraaj Parab (20:24.289) That's great. You mentioned that inspiration often shows up in unexpected places, like your love for moss or small cottages. What have you learned about staying open enough to recognize this inspiration when it arrives?

Mary (20:55.247) I can't tell you the exact moment when that happened. I think I was like that my entire life, honestly. Growing up in a village, there weren't many kids to play with. I lived with my grandma until I turned seven and spent most of my time with her because my mom was a working single mother. I was by myself a lot. My grandma would bake me cabbage pies, piroshki, and sit me in the garden, saying, "Okay, you can draw or sing, eat the piroshki, and just have fun." Then she would go tend to the vegetables, chickens, and goats. We had goats; I loved them, they are so smart.

Because of that, you just learn to observe everything. Instead of rejecting the world—like some kids now who say, "Ew, nature, I don't like bees, they can sting me"—you just observe. A bee is not going to sting you if you're just looking at her; she only stings if she gets scared by what you're doing. Being more connected to nature is what actually helped me be more open to seeing all these things because I observe so much. Even before I press the shutter button, I observe first and then capture the moment.

If you are a good observer, sometimes you can predict what picture is going to happen in the next couple of seconds. You use that time to get your camera ready because you know what's coming. That helps me at work, especially with clients. When I am shooting kids, I might see a butterfly flying right toward them. They don't see it yet, but they are going to see it in a moment, and I am ready to capture that genuine emotion when they look at it. That's just how I do it.

Sandeep Kulkarni (23:35.34) Continuing on that thought, how has your photographic voice evolved over time, not just technically, but emotionally?

Mary (23:46.479) Technically, I don't think my photography has grown a lot, honestly, because I'm still taking most of my pictures on a Canon 5D Mark IV, which is a DSLR, and a Sony a7 IV with a couple of cool prime lenses. Growth is mostly about leaning into psychology. If you understand psychology, you get more meaningful pictures, and that's how it grows each year.

Being a mom also helps me be even more sensitive and notice more things around me. When you go outside with kids, they notice things better than adults. They'll point out something happening that I might have missed because I'm getting older and losing connection with my inner child. But I have my kids now. I try hard not to lose that connection to my inner child that still wants to do cool things. As adults, we get buried under bills and responsibilities, and we think, "Maybe I shouldn't go take pictures just for fun because what am I getting from that?" But you are satisfying that inner child. If you've had an idea for many years in a row, just go do it and satisfy your inner child, even if it doesn't end up exactly how you wanted.

I saw a reel by a guy the other day who said he had an idea to start a blog about yoga five years ago. He was really into it and wanted to make YouTube videos, but he had a nine-to-five job and felt he needed a professional camera, a professional setup, and a studio. He had so many things stopping him. Five years later, he finally saved the money, bought the camera and setup, and was ready to go. But when he started filming, he realized it wasn't his desire anymore. That desire belonged to the person he was five years ago. He told his audience, "Please guys, if you have an idea to do something—whether it's a photoshoot or some crazy art—do it now. Even if it's not perfect and you don't have everything you need, just start doing it."

What I notice is that if you share your idea with the world or your close friends, and tell them you don't have a good camera, someone will say, "I know someone who has a camera they can lend you for a couple of hours." The entire universe tries to help you. In 2023, when I started posting consistently on Instagram, I really needed models. It's always a problem to find models, especially those who can work on weekdays in the morning when my kids are at school. I couldn't shoot on weekends because I have my kids with me all the time. I wondered where I would find models, and then I went to a coffee shop, saw a person, and thought, "Wow, this is my model." I asked them, "Can you please be my model? I'm a photographer," and showed them my work. They said, "Yes, for sure! I also have a friend who needs headshots for their actor portfolio. If you can snap a couple of headshots for them, they can probably come work on your project too." I ended up with four models. The universe helps you because the idea you have is so genuine and comes from your inner child. I really believe that when we are kids, we have a better connection with God than we do as adults, especially if we don't satisfy our inner child's ideas. Just do it, and the universe is going to help you.

Suraaj Parab (28:48.76) That's really interesting. Your art is a representation of what you are on the inside, and the one who can channel that inner part efficiently stands out. A lot of artists talk about doubt, but they don't always discuss it openly. What has doubt taught you about yourself and your work?

Mary (29:34.479) Meaning, do I criticize my work, doubt if my pictures are good enough, or feel like my art style isn't what I want?

Sandeep Kulkarni (29:51.11) It's kind of two things. One is the artistic ability side of it—asking "Can I do this?" and wondering if people will accept your art. The other side, when someone is doing this full-time, is doubting if they are on the right path.

Mary (30:16.772) I get it. When I take pictures for my clients, of course, I really want them to like those pictures. But when I take pictures for myself, I don't really care what people say, honestly. I know that with some pictures, I intentionally captured something that I wanted people to feel, and the right people are going to see that and understand it. That is my audience; those are the followers I want to connect with.

If people don't like my pictures, or when I get a lot of hate on my reels, they'll say, "This picture is not perfectly in focus."

Sandeep Kulkarni (31:06.789) My god, really? That is the world we live in.

Mary (31:13.951) Yeah, I've had so much hate from people. To grow as a photographer on social media, you have to use clickbait and hooks; otherwise, your reel is not going to grow. Sometimes I do something a little controversial in a photoshoot that worked for that specific session, and I'll post that these are the best settings. I explain it all in the description, but people usually don't read the description. People call me names and are super mean. I'm happy if venting helps them breathe normally, but for new photographers who are just starting out on Instagram and trying to find their niche, receiving a comment like that can be devastating. They'll delete their Instagram, feel like they are worth nothing, and get completely demotivated.

That's why I do photography mostly to capture my own emotions. It might sound like I have a huge ego, but it's not about myself; it's about how I want people to see the world through my eyes and how I want to remember things that happened in my life.

Sandeep Kulkarni (33:00.054) Right. When you have clients, you have to care if they like it. But when you're doing it for yourself, you can say, "I don't care, this is what I saw and how I wanted to do it." That goes for us too when we make music. This is how I wrote it, sang it, and played it—if you don't like it, thanks for stopping by.

Mary (33:47.319) Exactly. It is very good for artists to have two modes: working with clients, and creating art to express yourself. If you only do work for clients, you forget who you are and why you started to begin with. Painters, musicians, photographers—we all have to express ourselves. If you write songs for clients all the time, you get burned out. You understand what I'm talking about.

Sandeep Kulkarni (34:33.454) Absolutely, 100%. When you mentioned going to the coffee shop to find models and the universe helping you, it reminded me of a couple of photographers I’ve seen on Instagram recently. They randomly walk the streets—one guy is from India and another is from the US—and they just take photos of strangers, like a construction worker, a police officer, or someone rushing to work in New York City. Suraaj, were you going to say those look scripted? The Indian one looks a bit scripted, but the guy from the US just walks up to anyone.

Mary (35:51.021) You know, it might not actually be scripted. It might happen in real life, but because they didn't capture the initial organic moment, they recreate it to share the message behind what actually happened. That's why it might look staged to you. Sometimes that's what you have to do if you want to share the message but missed the live window to record it.

Sandeep Kulkarni (36:14.638) It could be both. I also saw a guy on the streets of New York who asks strangers what they do for a living and asks to see their apartments. What stranger would actually agree to that? He randomly ran into a famous chef from India who owns a Michelin-star restaurant in New York City. I saw that reel today. It feels like a hook.

Mary (36:58.847) Yes, it is a hook, and it's a very cool idea because people start commenting on it. The main idea isn't to show that you can walk up to a random person and see their apartment; he wants to show the people of New York, what they are doing, and what their spaces look like. They aren't just gloomy people rushing to work. He wants to show the soul behind the city of New York and how all these people created this beautiful city that everybody loves. That's how I see it. Even though I know if somebody asked me on the street to check out my apartment, I'd say, "Hell no, who are you?" But it makes total sense as content.

Sandeep Kulkarni (37:50.222) When you photograph people or places for your own work, what are you really searching for beneath the surface?

Mary (38:24.631) I love to learn a person's background, talk to them, and become friends with them. I think I have the ability to become close friends with people very quickly. I met my best friend two years ago, and we have talked every single day since we met. I want my models to appreciate art and understand what I want to show or what experience I want them to live through.

I did a photoshoot in a studio once using long matches, and the concept was supposed to look like a giant cigarette. I wanted to use lens filters that create a glowing circle around the light. When you light this giant match, a circle appears around the face, showing that the match is alive and burning. It represents the circle of life—life goes on no matter what burns, and new life comes into this world. As soon as I explained the concept, the model said, "I know exactly what you're talking about." She made the perfect facial expression because she connected with the exact same idea before I even fully explained it. I am just trying to find like-minded people to work and live with.

Suraaj Parab (40:35.233) Regarding the legacy part of your journey, when someone spends time looking at one of your photographs, what do you hope stays with them after they look away?

Mary (40:55.695) I just want them to be happy, live the lives they always dreamed about, notice the small things, and be close to their family and friends. I want them to stop worrying about things that don't directly affect their lives. Sometimes we forget that what builds a country is the communities in small cities. If you want to have clean streets, you have to start with your own city and your own street. If you want people to be more friendly around you, be more friendly to your neighbors and get to know them. Most people don't know their neighbors, especially here in the United States. They don't really go outside or talk to each other. People are really scared to talk to one another.

Because I lived in a village, I really want that feeling of community. I try my best to reach out to people, even if my neighbors don't really want to talk to me and think I'm cringe. I will never stop doing that. Through my pictures, I hope people gain the art of noticing. Please stop always focusing entirely on yourself. Don't just feed your ego; look outside and see how you can help the people around you.

Sometimes when I wake up and have no desire to do anything and feel like a mess, I ask God, "Please tell me how can I be helpful today for someone, or show me what I should do to help this world." Whenever I ask that question, God always gives me an opportunity to help or talk to someone, and it really fulfills me as an artist. After I ask, I start observing and noticing all the signs. This is a very good exercise that I advise everybody to do. If you wake up in a bad mood or find yourself in a dark place in your life, just ask how you can be helpful today and start noticing the world around you. That's my message.

Suraaj Parab (44:04.197) Really, Mary, thank you so much for spending this time with us. We really appreciate the thoughtfulness and emotional honesty you bring to your work and the way you shared your creative journey. It means a lot.

Mary (44:22.339) Thank you so much, guys. You're amazing. Thank you for inviting me, I really enjoyed our conversation.

Sandeep Kulkarni (44:24.856) The pleasure is all ours. This conversation is a reminder that photography can be more than observation—it can be a way of feeling, translating, and connecting. Thank you.

Mary (44:43.597) Yeah. And for some people, it's also a form of therapy. They use it to go outside, and instead of just touching grass, they are touching the shutter button and taking pictures. That's another way to look at it.

Suraaj Parab (44:56.709) Really true. To everyone who's listening, thank you for being here with us. Please go to Mary's Instagram and check out her reels where she teaches different photography tips and techniques. Go DM her, visit her website, and don't forget to follow her. If this conversation resonated with you, please share it with someone. We will see you in the next episode of Artist Conversation.

Sandeep Kulkarni (45:30.638) Thanks all, thanks Mary.

Mary (45:31.149) Yeah. Thank you guys. Like and subscribe!